He called me from his car. I could hear the background noises. "This is what I want you to do," he commands impatiently. I agree politely and answer his questions with the forethought of short, simple words. Gotta' go to work Dad, I'll talk to you later.
Later that night I am told he went to the hospital shortly after we talked. He has trouble breathing and he hasn't slept for days and he is weak. Doctor tells him his heart stopped seven times and the defibrillator inside his chest shocked him back to life with each occurrence. Dad woke up during the night screaming, eyes wide open, with no recollection of awakening. Only his body was aware...and his wife lying next to him. Scared straight to say the least. Straight into the hospital, again.
IV diuretics to alleviate the fluid drowning his lungs and heart, oral meds to keep his heartbeat rhythm regular, shoot dye into his veins to hunt for a blocked artery or broken valve. Dad wants it all. All the quick fix possibilities. All the concrete diagnostics and explainable answers. If you can't fix or explain, don't bring it up. If he's tried your treatment, be prepared to be refused. 72 year old man, with dying organs wants to be rebuilt and stood upright again, now. Sorry Dad, you are a decade too late. You no longer qualify for the brand spanking new heart, and the docs who know you best say your body can't withstand any more invasion. You will die with or without the fix you crave.
Rest now. Clear your mind. Let others care. Find peace. Find home. Know life...now.
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