emergence

I've tended my garden,

hoed and tilled and fertilized. 

Ignored it too.  

The muddy path and tangled roots are clearing.  

My seedlings are planted, 

sheltered from the wind and snow that will fall again. 

Spring will come. 

I didn't realize how lost I was.  

I didn't understand my need to recover passions, dreams, and to answer unanswered questions.   

A spark lit inside of me that I had no idea was dying.  

I had no inkling of its existence, of the flames preparing to ignite.  

I found an old friend.  

And everything changed.

I opened my eyes and pointed my gaze inward. 

He reminded me of a lifetime where my heart was clean and fresh and trusting.  He represents a part of myself, of my life, that was forgotten and left for dead.  His contact revived me without intention.  He assured me by proxy.  My friend did what I remember of him three decades ago:  shared kindness.  

I felt encouraged to bust open my soul’s windows, 

to enter cautiously into the dark depths of myself, kept hidden and cold. 

And I ran. 
I ran into my fire. 
The warmth engulfs me and I become complacent and charred. 

I've been running through my fire for months,

 fanning flames with beer and chocolate, 

throwing on logs made of restlessness and doubt, 

walking over hot coals instead of walking with God.  

Such is life.  Life worth fighting for. 
Life lived once on earth and life of grace to live later. 
No matter how fast I run, or how hot my soul’s fire, life will lead.  
I am life’s follower.  

I am part of the massive picture, the one I cannot begin to see unless I believe. 

Unless I allow my talents to emerge positively. 
Unless I allow others inside, even when I doubt they will understand. 


Unless I turn my face to the sun especially during the dark of night.  
Unless I forgive myself for my past.  


Unless I open my perspective to possibility I fear.  
Unless I slow down enough to hear my soul’s song.  


Unless I tend my garden and share my laborious fruits.  
Unless I look around the blinders and stretch my head out of the sand.  


Unless I ask and unless I answer.

I live

I see 

I love

I am grateful for who I am 

and who surrounds me.  

Peace

Hugs

Light

Love~L