all in a day's work (sept 29, 2009)

a resident at work...the dying man I described last night. He lived in the room next to my office and I talked with him and his daughter everyday. His name was Melvin, Mel. He called me boss and made everyone laugh with his grouchy sarcasm. His wife died in the same room last month, 24 hours after they were both admitted here. Now they are doing the jitterbug together again...without pain or age or worry.

I pronounced his death. Checked for the absence of life signs. Last night I stayed late because I could see the signs. And he told us that he was going to die...he knew. All day today, until 4:33 pm, Mel rested comfortably with eyes closed, surrounded by his small biological family and his large adopted family of staff. He was well loved. And I am blessed to have known him.

I helped the aide with his post mortem care and I held the doors open when the funeral home wheeled his body outside. Firsts. I received hugs from Mel's daughter and son-in-law and I began to mourn. Another day in a nurse's life.

So I drove to Lake Michigan and sat in the cold sand in the bitter wind among the quiet seagulls and cried, and watched God at work again. And put myself in my place.

humbled again. more thankful. hopeful.