she thinks, therefore she writes

~Writing helps center me, whether I’m read or not. Put myself out there in private as a trial run and then approach life with thoughts in order and behaviors tested.~

I wrote the above words sometime in this past year.  When I was writing letters to an old friend, trying to play catch up, and I discovered that I was writing.  The more I wrote, the more I felt.  The more I made my fingers do the talking, the better I felt.  About myself and what I was thinking.  My mind opened, purged, let off steam, sorted and culled everything that needed culling and sorting.  As the quote says, I put myself out there.  First privately, now publicly.  Either way, I'm testing the waters of my next step.  Is this how I really feel or should I ask another question and critically think my way through this challenge?  Practicing and perfecting and persuading myself that my thoughts are valid and worth listening to.  

Don't you ever feel like your mind is about to explode from the myriad of useless information you've collected?  or because the important issues have been pushed to the back of the mind's closet where they are taken for granted and they begin to mutiny for release?  And when the mind makes up its mind, be prepared for rumbling, raging, running thought patterns.  Maybe mine are different then yours...thought patterns, I mean.  I know mine work well in some discussions and not in others.  I accept that my way to think and rationalize may be opposite of yours or just a bit off center.  This is precisely why writing is good for me:  the catharsis of releasing my jumbled thoughts in order to make sense of it all.  My trial run before I meet face to face or phone to phone.  I am a card holding member of foot-in-mouth club, so I know I must practice my communication craft.  Patiently, gradually, purposely, I teach myself.  The words flow freer through this keyboard and my relationships blossom because I write before I speak.  Aren't you relieved?

I write what I think.  Authors put their ideas on paper, as the old saying goes.  I am an author.  I write about what I have experienced, what I have seen with my mind's eyes, what I know to be true in my mind.  Get the picture?  I don't write about you and your problem and what you did to work through that challenge and what you said to so and so.  I write me.  If my story happens to intersect with your story, than you can expect what I put down on my proverbial paper to be my perspective.  You write or speak or feel or think your perspective, and I, mine. 

Long story short, I am a more relaxed, centered, and thoughtful person now...because I write.  

Well, there's other reasons also, but they aren't necessary to discuss today.  Just as well, because I know that my verbose style of emoting and explaining can be tiresome to readers.  (If you got this far, you're probably not one of the tiring.)  

I enjoy blogging.  I have discovered an artistic community in cyberspace where I am welcome.  Another peer group to bounce ideas off of.  A fresh set of eyes to critique my work.  Change is good and healthy and invigorating.  I am changing and writing and living.  It's all good.  All God.

peace be with you,

~L