how things are

Blessed by the bloggers who invaded my soul.

Blessed and encouraged and reminded that I'm whole.

Gratitude

for allowing me room

to create and attempt

the inevitable fear and

the impossible dreams,

the uncouth,

unrehearsed,

unrequited,

creation of my ego.

I listen to each suggestion and remember each supposition.

Comments linger long enough to impress.

generous persuasion pushes.

compassionate patience calms.

familiar touch lifts the curtain covering my heart.

sweet smell compels me to create.

I am in line with cyberspace and time.

I am in awe of the impact my fingertips cajole.

I reel in my line and bait again for fresh catch.

I'm hooked.

I'm hoodwinked.

I am caught up

swept away with whispers of change

aboard the train to nowhere in particular.

My senses alive and doubtful again,

fear rising forefront and freshening my drink.

Gulping breaths above water,

in between the cycling waves

washing over my complacency,

cleansing my confidence

and drowning my id.

Baptized in the name of survival and sustenance.

Look forward or lose line of sight.

Something's missing in the crowd,

someone's lost their parental hand,

lost footing

under the riptide waves and swirling sand;

life is floating by you,

ignoring the pretty colors

of the  rainbow above.

Will you always catch my fallen star?

Will you forever be my reflection?

When will I say goodbye to you?

When will you dismiss me?

Where is this wave driving me?

Lucky in love with how things are.

Blessed to know that change is gonna' come.

15 and counting...

we are now officially an exclusive group

living on the shady side of blogland

helping each other find words to use and songs to sing

sharing our fuzzy wuzzies

sharing our shitty gritty

real stuff

real people

real goodness

I expect fair reason

I expect calm critique

I expect YOU and I

I expect to laugh and cry

Please welcome your peers and allow their fears

please remember your p's and q's

feeling is allowed

expression is welcome

comment

link

think

listen

hear

~please sign up for email subscription (over there>>>>>>>>) so you don't have to sign in and check for new posts.

~if you want to guest post, email me. you may wish to privately publish your art and see the comments follow. you may want to talk about a subject important to you and watch people act. you may enjoy creating poetry and secretly want to share. I hesitated too. I put my faith in YOU. I began again and unlocked my soul's secrets...and I've survived. God's blessings and peace be with you.

Love,

~L

sky over Muskegon

viewed from my car at the Meijer gas station

Coldplay CD blaring

A/C blasting

Breyers chocolate melting

shot the movement and changes

time out for twenty minutes

cathartic release

daily meditation

reminder of our awesome God

and available blessings

on this west coast

summertime sunset

amen for peace

borrowing a laugh from MC Rabbit...and his powdered nut

one of my bloggity friends is one of my funniest friends....thanks for the lol's at 3 am MC. 

peace out homies

~L

btw: you'll laugh if you link up to the post by clicking on the title...up there, above the note...

going underground

I've made a decision and it includes YOU. 

I'm privatizing my blog, inviting only, sharing my innermost bullshit with those who choose to accept.  If YOU want to be included, please comment to this entry.  I'll leave it up for one week and then I'm closing the public shop and sending out secret handshakes.  

Yea, I may be copping out, but I'm doing it my way.  My way to play is too honest for some.  My way of communicating seems to muddle friendships and mess relationships.  Not my intention all those 9 or 10 months ago.  Delicate beginnings beg to be reborn. Once bitten, twice shy.

Advice and ideas are always welcome.

Negativity is not.

I'm building a positive playhouse.  I need a respite to call my own.  I'm sorry for YOU who are offended by my deepest honesty.  I am sorry for YOU who must question my emotions against yours.  I'm sorry that YOU did not appreciate my creativity for creativity's sake.  I am sorry that YOU may not allow yourself to know the real me.  I will see you on the flipside, calm, cool and collected.  Non controversial as agreed.

until I hear from YOU again...for whatever reason,

PEACE,

~L

NIEMI...my hero

Since I'm having a hard time motivating myself to clean, plant, cook, or grocery shop, I'm dabbling in blog land. Going through my dashboard reader I peruse the variety of magz, blogs, and photo ops I've bookmarked for my reading pleasure. 

The chosen article this morning is an ode to my hero, Antti Niemi, Chicago Blackhawks goalie extraordinaire.  Stanley Cup game 2 recap @ RosenBlog. Add this author to your reader if you like sports, he won't disappoint.

and now for something completely different... (6 words)

Hello blogging community,

I must confess that I am in internet limbo, inside a web of URL's, feeds, readers, and chicklets.  Sometimes I wonder why I even began this reorganization of redux.  I changed my email, my blog address, my passwords, my contact list, protection software...and I may have lost some of you.  And part of my mind.

If you can hear me now, which you may not be able to since your rss feeds don't link you to my shades, I am requesting your patience and assistance.  Please re-follow me or re-rss connect at my blog.  I may have to do the same at yours.  Time consuming, inefficient, and pain in the ass, I know.  Welcome to internet limbo.

Hope you enjoy your ride with us on SOG airlines.  The company with the big 'L' on it's forehead...(loser:)

Now I will attempt to contact everyone of my 30 followers to beg and plead friendship and forgiveness.  You'll recognize me cuz I'll be the one on my knees, kissing your feet.

parting with peace,

~L

my major award

Fra geel ay!  

I received this major award from my blogger friend,

Vencora @ coffee with a hint of self delusion.

Vencora and I have agreed that we share the gift of introspection.  We seem to be on a path of self discovery, using our talents to help guide our way.  We also both reside in the beautiful state of Michigan, although I think V will be traveling to other lands sooner than I will.  She's a bit younger than I am, and she is single, thus the wanderlust fits her better.  The beauty of having Vencora as my blogging friend, is that no matter where she resides physically in our world, we will always be connected through the links we've spun on this web.  

God bless you V, and all my bloggity companions for brightening my path of enlightenment, supporting my searching soul, listening to my rambling and still coming back for more.  As I said in my last post, I enjoy blogging, it keeps me centered and thoughtful, and every one of you who reads this now is part of the magic!  (cue sappy music...and fade out)

(my first bokeh)

she thinks, therefore she writes

~Writing helps center me, whether I’m read or not. Put myself out there in private as a trial run and then approach life with thoughts in order and behaviors tested.~

I wrote the above words sometime in this past year.  When I was writing letters to an old friend, trying to play catch up, and I discovered that I was writing.  The more I wrote, the more I felt.  The more I made my fingers do the talking, the better I felt.  About myself and what I was thinking.  My mind opened, purged, let off steam, sorted and culled everything that needed culling and sorting.  As the quote says, I put myself out there.  First privately, now publicly.  Either way, I'm testing the waters of my next step.  Is this how I really feel or should I ask another question and critically think my way through this challenge?  Practicing and perfecting and persuading myself that my thoughts are valid and worth listening to.  

Don't you ever feel like your mind is about to explode from the myriad of useless information you've collected?  or because the important issues have been pushed to the back of the mind's closet where they are taken for granted and they begin to mutiny for release?  And when the mind makes up its mind, be prepared for rumbling, raging, running thought patterns.  Maybe mine are different then yours...thought patterns, I mean.  I know mine work well in some discussions and not in others.  I accept that my way to think and rationalize may be opposite of yours or just a bit off center.  This is precisely why writing is good for me:  the catharsis of releasing my jumbled thoughts in order to make sense of it all.  My trial run before I meet face to face or phone to phone.  I am a card holding member of foot-in-mouth club, so I know I must practice my communication craft.  Patiently, gradually, purposely, I teach myself.  The words flow freer through this keyboard and my relationships blossom because I write before I speak.  Aren't you relieved?

I write what I think.  Authors put their ideas on paper, as the old saying goes.  I am an author.  I write about what I have experienced, what I have seen with my mind's eyes, what I know to be true in my mind.  Get the picture?  I don't write about you and your problem and what you did to work through that challenge and what you said to so and so.  I write me.  If my story happens to intersect with your story, than you can expect what I put down on my proverbial paper to be my perspective.  You write or speak or feel or think your perspective, and I, mine. 

Long story short, I am a more relaxed, centered, and thoughtful person now...because I write.  

Well, there's other reasons also, but they aren't necessary to discuss today.  Just as well, because I know that my verbose style of emoting and explaining can be tiresome to readers.  (If you got this far, you're probably not one of the tiring.)  

I enjoy blogging.  I have discovered an artistic community in cyberspace where I am welcome.  Another peer group to bounce ideas off of.  A fresh set of eyes to critique my work.  Change is good and healthy and invigorating.  I am changing and writing and living.  It's all good.  All God.

peace be with you,

~L

tears of a clown

I wrote this piece a few weeks ago, after my weekend city shoot in Chicago.  "Four Seasons" is an outdoor mosaic created by artist Marc Chagall.  His work stands proudly on a plaza among the historic business district of the south Loop.  When you next visit Chicago, please find this oasis among the steel and brick and business.

I cried while looking at the Chagall.  They just started, filled my wide open eyes.  Sitting alone in the middle of giants, beauty beyond any expectation.  I wept and felt relief. The pigeons kept me company and the sound was unbearably quiet.  Or maybe I tuned out everything that wasn't on those tiles.  The colors spoke to me, all randomly ordered.  The scenes and suns pulled me closer.  After walking the perimeter twice, I knew where to find Marc Chagall's six signatures.  I shot all six. Shot every wall, every angle, every sun in every scene.  A Sunday morning oasis where I recognized hope.  Walking away felt uneasy.  Looking back through damp eyes, I promised my return.

My mind and heart don't line up on the same plane as they did last week.  Chicago changed everything.  I changed.  I chose and I changed.  Walking alone but with my camera, my other eye, and meeting whatever I wanted to shoot.  Choices belonged to me alone.  Each one wrapped in me.  Wrapped with my freedom, security, knowing.  Passion fires burning for three days.  Passion for pursuit.  Pursuing my future one minute at a time.  One shot plus one more plus the next one.  All lining up for me, because of me, in spite of me.  When I look into my new mirror I see through the viewfinder.  The camera fits me.  I am the camera.  

And how do I move from this intersection of reality?  Remains to be seen is creeping closer.   Feels like the first time and feels like forever.  Life is never boring and I like it.  Building my puzzle is challenging, especially when I find new pieces so often.  Is God trying to tell me that I am running out of time?  You and I both know the answer to that one.  Life is now.

Since I posted my chi-town pics, 4 more people have clicked my blog follow button and many compliments have been sent my way.  Never have I been validated like this.  I'm an amateur.  My talent is raw.  I'm flattered and overwhelmed.  I feel like I'm in a dream sequence where all that was status quo is suddenly dropped upside down and shattered into millions of pieces.

I'm not a strong-willed personality.  I need people to prop me.  That's how I'm built.  At 43 years old with two giant passions overtaking my daily sensibilities, I need to share and see my fire spark more.  I need to-know-me-is-to-love-me.  The gloves off and the cards laid on the table.  The benefit of the doubt.  The trust.  My blog has been good for me, and I  keep shooting, and transforming.  With each click of the keyboard and each snap of the shutter, I move away from the fork in my road and away from empty.  I'm filling up.  finally.    

kudos, shout-outs, and awards, oh my!

Overwhelmed with compliments today...

Georgina @ Olive Me, a must have read whom I stalk daily, handed me my first ever blogging award along with several other bloggers I follow or will now.

 ode to olive juice

Thank you G!

girlfriend.

gorgeous.

giving.

great expectations.

gracious.

going places.

growth.

givahootery.

grins and giggles.

glossary.

generous.

glorious.

Georgina!

Check the list of my peers who I am honored to share kudos with.

One in particular, Vencora @ Coffee with a Hint of Self Delusion, gave me and my humble blog a shout-out...my first one.  I hear you loud and clear V!  I love reading you too and I appreciate your reference to "lots of beautiful pictures" in my chicago, chagall, and choice post.  In addition, Vencora leaves me great comments after I post, including this compliment about the aforementioned chicago themed entry:

"your seemingly random yet unmistakably artistic photo shots are something I relate to. When you appreciate something so much, you see the things that no-one else sees."

EXACTLY!  I had a blast shooting my favorite city and I have many more photos to share later. For understanding my mixed up motives and labeling my shots artistic, I humbly offer my friend V...

Now I pass the buck, share the love, reward the writers whom I read...CHEERS!

Beth @ I Should Be Folding Laundry
(expecting her third child any day, suffered loss of twins, You Capture photo meme, inspires)

Chuck @ Chuck's Adventures
(retired HS English teacher from my almamater, world traveler,  photographer, been blogging since...well, before blogging was a word, generous commenter)

Serenityville @ Aayymee, whatchoo gonna do-o?
(open, funny, inspirational, former European resident, musical)

Cat @ Wait. What?
(honestly beautiful, fellow journeyer, poet, mom)

Sarah Toa @ A WineDark Sea 
(you may find her on a fishing boat in Australia, photographer, writer, reader, historian)

Meghan @ Blackberries to Apples
(20 something single living in NYC, humorous, talented, southern)

For supplying me with future fodder and interesting ideas, for entertaining my senses, for encouraging me to encourage, for allowing me to comment and follow and join your journeys, for your public displays of honesty, for teaching and touching me, for helping me grow and fly and explore, for YOU...BEAUTIFUL BLOGGERS...

Marc Chagall, 1972