searching for structure

weight

 I work on extracting my thoughts from my brain.
Carrying false messages.  Dead weight.  Believable.
Sticky.  Messy fingers pulling at silky strings of hurt.
Struggling to sort the welcome from the un.
Writing because I force myself.  Forcing substance into the holes.
Moles holes.  Rabbit den tunnels.  Secret hiding places.  Hiding hell.


You tire easily.  Your flames fanning.  Patience waning. 
In a little while I’ll fall into you and exhale.  Soon.

through the looking glass @ the Cass

Hubby and I went to Chicago

and this is what we saw 14 stories above Wabash...

that's big John H with the double antenna

  I like the stairs and columns and flower beds

sprinkled blue below

reflections of modern architecture 

imitating art deco

lines, lines, lines

repeating and retreating

from my peeping

 yes, that's snow/sleet/wtf, this is April!

 Ah, sunshines upon us in the morrow

 as we begin our morning walk 

toward Trump's shiny tower

and beyond

much more to see in my kinda' town

to be continued for your viewing pleasure

ps:  the scenes improve and so do my shots.

Easter peace friends.  Namaste.

~L

scream of consciousness

so many words to write and one wrong move by my right hand sends them packing.  feelings and needs and rants wrapped up in that stream before it left the building with Elvis.  it screamed with everything stored inside, held the fog ransom while my fingers vomited the irrationality of my reality onto the keys and into cyberspace.  tears followed suit.  rose colored glasses inaccessible.  

I love you.

peace.

~L

peace, love, understanding ~L

Thank you Lord for understanding women.

Women hear me.  Women know what I'll say before I say it.  Women move closer when they see tears.  Women touch, distract, remember, realize, and touch again.  Women in my life are special and I hope I treat them as such.

Lately I have not felt like myself, like I should, like I expect to.  The cobwebs are accumulating and cross stitching inside my mind.  No room for additional thought patterns, no open runways to land on.  Clouds hover over my damaged wing.  The wing I repaired over the year is still weak.  Still hurting.  My new feathers wilting under the typhoon of sound.  The carousel's lights flash and I'm blinded temporarily.  All the horses and tigers smile as they circle past.  No open seats for this rider.  The queue for you.

Exit, reads the sign.  Purge and push open that steel door.  Walk slowly down the dark alley.  Don't look over your shoulder.  Keep your eyes on the blue light, gradually enlarging to the rhythm of your steps.  Feel the faint breeze on your cheek, smell the rain and the possibility.  Breathe.  Breathe deeper.  Almost there.  You're so close.  You're going to make it.  Concentrate and keep moving.  Let your soul sense direction and your body follow.  Stop questioning.  Stop wondering.  Embrace the warmth of anticipation manifested within.

walk out into the sunburst street sing your heart out sing my heart out I found grace inside a sound I found grace that's all that I found and I can breathe breathe now breathe (U2)

so this is christmas

breaking bread

passing muster

serving the under served

with time and a half

in half the time

loneliness blankets

provokes and pokes

weakness stabs 

strength jabs

empirical miracles

refreshing spirits

unrelenting madness

recovering rhyme and reason

of the season

no particular reason

humans gather to break bread

souls rise and shake their dead

hallmark cards seal the deal

each meal

every bite

hands held tight

holding prayers and promises

hoping they float

on the river denial

warm bed and roof overhead

fire or might

through the night 

wait

listen

hear jingling

feel shaking

smell baking

angel's wings and sparkling rings

equalizer

baptizer

cold and sold out

bitter and exhausted

turnstile lines at double doors

assemble masses

arrest routines with faded magazines

wait

hurry up 

catch the conga line

step up to the plate

speak up

decide now

act later

feel today

forgive tomorrow

float hope

merry Christmas friends

grumpy grey

 

seattle says...

 

At night I sat on the roof and shot my photos of the twinkling lights and lit storefronts.  I was mesmerized from the minute the airplane began descent...sunshine and mountain profiles greeted my midwestern mentality.  

I shall return to you again Seattle, 

to your diverse population walking the sidewalk hills, 

to the great service and friendly strangers,  

your music and meals and home brews,

to the culture in the park and the creativity at the market, 

 to the shipping lanes and flower potted piers, 

 to the tolerant lifestyles of your neighborhoods, 

to creative opportunity and self preservation, 

to your forested foothills and falling water

 

to your naturally beautiful highway drives

  to continue my journey, renew relationships

live now...in God's country.