I awake to find no peace of mind...
my boys yell at each other. grown men with grown bodies and deep voices and posturing. wild animals prey here.
look at the way we live. which way do i turn? where do I hide from the spinning and the fog? the instinctual cowering, the flashback of sound, the loneliness of out-of-control...
(they can't touch you...they're just spies)
guitar picks over the remains of the day
the cymbals behind you sweetly keep time
promises no more
to look out and look over you
say anything.
retreat, huddle alone
I know I let you down
I know I held you back
unconsciously.
I hear the harmony enter
I hear that other voice
in my other ear...
singing surprises
sweetness
solitude
serenity
somebody else's now
the stars go on shining the universe
the moon wanes and the sun flashes
and people feel the truth or the lies
no matter
choice making
and shit stomping
now is today and yesterday
festers inside
that is why I cry a puddle
while standing the lone quarterback in my huddle
push em back! push em back!
cheering sidelines scream up the stairs
through the walls
over the dining table
I know, I know.
the warm sticky oozes through my throat
renders speech null
and fills voids darker than yesterdays
put a bushel over it
put that light out
light a new candle with star sparks
let go and let
the universe and God collide
while you and yours crescendo toward
unanswers
value added can be removed
the flash of anger ignites and multiplies demons
singers and dancers and guitar pickers are not enough to distract
the wallflower continues her stance
spider sews webs inside your head
everything's not lost...until
paralyzed
stuck to this chair
wires slam shut my ears
ignoring you and you
wishing and praying you stop
living in fear of myself
and what wake I leave
and the future I am obliged to save
if I can't figure out now then wtf?
if then, then this
life doesn't fit into formulas
the world doesn't spin by your theorem
children die
killers kill
assholes kick unconscious men where they lay bleeding
insanity karate chops skyscrapers and scrambles karma
friends suffer
family leave
homeless squat
diseased drivel up
government embarrasses
ministers make messes
darlings do drugs
teachers touch
players pretend
parents pose
children cheat and lie and hide
the cycle spins on
spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning
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