it's 4 am, do you know where you are?

as I listen to the snow plows attack the drifting blizzard, I feel safe and peaceful.  lately, as you can tell from my blog posts, I have required calm and quiet at home.  This quiet is now.  I am writing for me and to you and again I feel like fingers follow meaning and sort thoughts into sentences.  My brain is on overload with what I have not written in the past 6 months.

I found my nursing niche and I'm honing my psychiatric craft.  This job fits me well, like the pair of brown corduroy pants I lovingly lived holes through the knees.  My back aches on this antiquated chair, and I am writing.  My words are stumbling through the portal, chopping onto the keys and into run ons and fragments.  And I'm writing and feeling it again.

clickity clackity

soft black plastic snapping

fingers ready and set in position

typewriter bell is missing, replaced by the hum of the pc's overworked fan

I'm writing.

In blue not ink.

In incorrect grammar and forgotten capitalization.

even as my lungs ache for deeper breaths

and my heavy head leans in the direction of my pillow,

even though my husband may call me crazy for staying up so late

and my dog may beg me to feed her early as I crawl up the stairs,

even if no one reads this post

and I sleep soundly anyway...

breathing in positivity one molecule at a time is good.

is forward momentum.

is what I am about today.

every day.

breathe in, breathe out

inhale, exhale

fill lungs and they will work for you

fill heart and it will beat for you

fill mind and it will think for you

fill life and you will live.

thank you friends and family who believe in the power...together we will fly higher on mended wings and run faster than the snow falls...together or individually, we have positive energy to turn us on, turn us into who we are, turn our hearts toward the sun and turn our inequities into acknowledgments...be...see...free...me.